


Vermilion

by Khaoticgood



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, just some good ole fashion lesbian pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 07:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12206493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khaoticgood/pseuds/Khaoticgood
Summary: Morgana contemplates her possession of Gwen.





	Vermilion

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjN0F1fafPs

The bugs were the only sound in the otherwise silent night. Morgana breathed in the cool air to calm herself. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous—she knew her plan had worked. Gwen would come. She glanced at the sky for umpteenth time. The moon shone brightly from its place in the center of the sky, with no clouds to cover it. The stars shone brightly as well, giving off enough light for the dying tree she stood beside to cast a shadow over her. She took a deep breath and lifted her chin. _Gwen will come._

As if on cue, Morgana heard the soft crunching of leaves behind her, signaling Gwen’s arrival. Morgana turned and opened her arms for Gwen to approach her. She took in the sight of Gwen before her; she wore a dark cloak with the hood up to conceal her, but Morgana felt a surge of joy run through her simply by seeing Gwen’s face. She saw her smile reflected in Gwen as she pulled her close and embraced her. She sighed, as she felt Gwen’s warmth against her. Still, something was…off.

“How is it?” Morgana asked before releasing her embrace.

Gwen smiled as she looked into Morgana’s eyes. “Arthur thinks he’s won.” Gwen shook her head slowly, still smiling. “He has no idea.”

It was so strange. Gwen’s mouth curved into a smile, her eyebrows would lift to show expression and yet…her eyes were mysteriously blank. As Morgana stared into them she could only see her own desperate face reflected back in them. _This is wrong. I have scooped out her soul and planted my own in her. How could I think this would feel like Gwen’s love?_

“Do you understand now who you can trust?” Morgana could feel her heart pounding in her chest. It didn’t matter what had become of Gwen. The plan had worked, and Gwen would help remove Arthur from his throne. Why did she still long to hear Gwen’s true proclamation of loyalty?

Gwen furrowed her brow and tilted her head. “It’s you, Morgana. It’s only ever been you.” Morgana’s lips curved into a smile. Her heart was beating faster now and she could feel relief washing over her.

“You’re not one of them. And you never will be,” Morgana said slowly. She had longed for this day. Funny, the things she had discovered in the dark solitude of the pit. She had had dreams of Gwen turning on Arthur, of Gwen by her side as she ruled—of Gwen in her bed in the night. Morgana had found a strange satisfaction in these dreams, in a way that she came to realize that perhaps these were not simply dreams, but fantasies she had hallucinated in the dark when she was malnourished and alone. It was hard for her to know if these dreams had kept her sane or caused her to slip over the edge into insanity—on one hand, it was a hope, something to cling to; on the other, it was something she knew she could never have.  

“You don’t know how much I hate them. All of them.” Gwen’s words pulled Morgana from her thoughts. She looked at Gwen’s face and saw a hunger there, a darkness…perhaps her dreams were no longer something out of her reach.

 _No,_ Morgana stopped herself. _It is not her hunger, but yours._ Morgana thought it strange that she should care about leaving Gwen this final shred of dignity, despite Gwen not truly being able to understand. Morgana’s breath caught in her throat, and her eyes began to sting. Somehow, her mind was something Morgana had found fair game, but her body was still her own. _It would be selfish to take this from her._ _When she helps take down Arthur, she helps all magic users, but beyond that it is purely for my own selfish reasons._ She was no longer trapped in a hole in the ground, in need of strange fantasies to keep her mind from giving out altogether. She could not let these thoughts persist. Morgana jutted out her chin. She would not touch Gwen.

“You have done well to see past the lies to the real truth.” Morgana spoke to Gwen but she felt as if she were trying to convince some part of herself as well. “You have an important part to play in the future. Together, we will ensure the destruction of everything Arthur holds dear.” _Even the loyalty of his loving wife._

Gwen’s lips curved into a smile. She was ready. She would do anything for Morgana.

But Morgana knew that this wasn’t real. She could never make the real Gwen love her.

**Author's Note:**

> This was only edited by me so if there are any mistakes feel free to let me know :)


End file.
